What is IFS Therapy and How Can It Help with Trauma?
When we go through something painful, it can feel like the experience gets “stuck” inside of us. Maybe you notice yourself reacting strongly to something small, or you keep replaying old memories you wish you could move on from. Trauma has a way of leaving us feeling like we’re not fully in control- like parts of us are frozen in the past.
This is where Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can be so powerful.
What is IFS, in simple terms?
IFS is based on the idea that we all have different “parts” within us. You’ve probably said things like:
“A part of me wants to rest, but another part of me feels guilty for slowing down.”
“Part of me feels angry, but another part of me just wants to keep the peace.”
That’s IFS in everyday language. Instead of seeing ourselves as one single “self,” IFS recognises that we have an inner family of parts, each trying to protect us or meet our needs, even if sometimes their strategies aren’t very helpful.
And at the core of all of us, there’s a Self - a calm, compassionate presence that can guide and heal these parts when they’re hurting.
How does IFS help with trauma?
When you’ve lived through trauma, some parts of you may carry the pain, fear, or shame from what happened. Other parts might step in to protect you by:
Keeping you busy and productive so you don’t have to feel the pain.
Criticising you to “keep you in line” and avoid rejection.
Shutting down emotions so you don’t feel overwhelmed.
These protective strategies often made sense at the time - they helped you survive. But over time, they can leave you feeling stuck, anxious, or disconnected from yourself.
IFS offers a gentle way of getting to know these parts of you without judgment. Instead of pushing them away or fighting with them, you learn to listen to them and understand what they’re afraid of. From there, your Self can begin to bring comfort, healing, and a sense of safety that those younger, hurting parts have been needing for so long.
Why people find IFS healing
Many people describe IFS as feeling less like “talking about your trauma” and more like building a relationship with yourself. You don’t have to relive every detail of what happened. Instead, you create space inside to care for the parts of you that are still carrying the weight of the past.
Over time, people often notice:
More self-compassion, less self-criticism.
Feeling calmer and less triggered in daily life.
A stronger connection to their inner voice and needs.
A sense of wholeness - like all their parts finally belong.
Healing trauma isn’t about erasing the past - it’s about finding a way to live more fully in the present, with kindness toward yourself. IFS can be a beautiful path for that, because it helps you discover that deep down, you already have what you need to heal.
If this way of working speaks to you, I’d love to walk alongside you as you get to know your inner world with more compassion. You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out here to book a session or ask me any questions.