Choosing the Right Therapist for You: Myths, Truths, and What Really Matters
Choosing the right therapist can feel overwhelming. With endless directories, different therapy approaches, and countless qualifications, it’s easy to wonder: How do I know who is right for me?
The truth is, finding the right therapist isn’t just about credentials - it’s about connection, safety, and choosing someone you can genuinely relate to.
This guide will help you understand what really matters when selecting a therapist, the myths that often get in the way, and how to know if a therapist is a good fit for you.
Why Choosing the Right Therapist Matters
Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship is the single most important factor in successful therapy. When you feel seen, safe, and understood, your nervous system can settle - and that’s when real change begins.
Whether you’re seeking therapy for anxiety, burnout, trauma, or relationship patterns, the right therapist provides:
A safe space to explore difficult emotions
A grounded presence that helps regulate your nervous system
Build inner resilience and compassion
A sense of connection that makes the work possible
Move gently toward healing at your own pace
This connection is far more meaningful than any single technique or modality.
It’s Also Important to Choose a Fully Qualified Counsellor
While connection is essential, it’s equally important that the person you choose is professionally trained, fully qualified, and ethically registered.
A qualified therapist:
Has undergone extensive accredited training
Is bound by a professional ethical framework (BACP, NCPS or UKCP in the UK)
Engages in regular supervision to ensure safe practice
Understands trauma, projection, attachment and the nervous system
Knows how to hold boundaries and protect your wellbeing
Myth 1: “The Best Therapist Has the Most Techniques”
While professional training is important, it’s not the main factor that determines progress. Therapy isn’t about collecting tools - it’s about the relationship.
You’re not looking for the therapist with the most impressive list of modalities.
You’re looking for a therapist who feels warm, relatable, and aligned with what you need. Trust your gut instinct!
Myth 2: “If I Feel Uncomfortable, This Isn’t the Right Therapist”
This is one of the most common misconceptions.
Feeling uncomfortable in therapy doesn’t automatically mean the therapist is wrong for you. Sometimes discomfort is a sign that you’re touching on deeper patterns, wounds, or beliefs that need healing.
A good therapist helps you:
Move through discomfort with support
Understand where it’s coming from
Build the emotional capacity to navigate it
The key is not avoiding discomfort, it’s feeling supported through it.
Myth 3: “I Need to Choose a Therapist Based on Their Modality”
People often believe they must pick the “perfect” approach: CBT, IFS, ACT, somatic therapy, psychodynamic… and the list goes on. It definitely works for some clients, but not for everyone - healing isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Many therapists, including myself - work integratively, meaning we tailor the work to your individual needs, nervous system, and lived experiences.
Instead of asking “Which modality is best?” consider asking:
Do I feel understood by this therapist?
Do they create an environment where I can be myself?
Do I feel safe enough to explore the harder parts of my story?
Those answers matter far more than choosing a technique.
How to Know You’ve Found the Right Therapist
When you’re with the right therapist, you may notice:
You feel genuinely heard
You feel safe, even when vulnerable
You sense warmth and compassion in the room
You feel encouraged, not judged
You leave sessions feeling lighter, clearer, or more grounded
You don’t need instant comfort, you just need a foundation that feels real, consistent, and trusting.
Connection Is the Heart of Healing
The right therapeutic relationship allows:
Your nervous system to soften
Your parts to be welcomed with compassion
Space for difficult emotions to be processed gently
Healing to happen at a pace that honours your history
When you feel connected and understood, therapy becomes a place where you can grow, rest, and rediscover yourself.
Ready to See If We’re the Right Fit?
Finding the right therapist is a personal and important decision. That’s why I offer a free 20-minintroductory call, giving you the chance to:
Get a feel for my approach
Ask questions
Explore whether we’re a good match
Decide if you feel safe and at ease with me
Click here to book your free intro call.